“But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” 1 Corinthians 7:7b

      I’ve always been a little different. Growing up an “old soul” I looked at relationships differently than most of my peers. I felt God calling me to ministry when I was only thirteen years old. I took it very seriously and had very little interest in many of the other activities that my fellow youth entertained. I went to school, played sports, but church became the most dominant aspect of my life. Dating was not something that I pursued with much gusto. I would have rather had a Bible study, and that is what I often did. In High School, there was not a ton of girls flocking to date a guy who was more interested in preaching, teaching, and baptizing people than dating and that suited me fine. I felt complete and secure in my relationship with God.  

     When I went off to college I had the same focus. I was content with being single and growing in my relationship with Christ. I even prayed to God and told him that I would only want a wife if she would encourage my relationship with Him.  But, the fact was that many thought I was missing out on something. Even many of my friends and church family wondered, “Why doesn’t Nathan have a girlfriend?” Later, God radically turned my life upside down when he brought Heather and I together, but I can tell you with complete confidence that it was not because either one of us desperately sought one another. It was only because we felt God moving us towards one another that we followed his lead. Heather had no desire to marry again after losing the love of her life to cancer. And I, well I had decided that I was going to be like the Apostle Paul. God called us to something greater than ourselves, we trusted Him and I’m very thankful. But, what if we had remained as we were?  

     Why do we feel like there is something wrong for a Christian to remain single and simply follow Christ? Both Jesus and Paul saw this as giftedness from the Lord (Matt. 19:11-12; 1 Cor. 7:7). I do not deny that this is not a common gift. Very often, couples are ignoring God’s call for them to marry. Some are called like Paul to live unmarried, faithfully pleasing the Lord. Many are called like Peter to live in marriage faithfully pleasing the Lord (1 Cor. 9:5). All are called to put Christ first. The church needs to be a place to model and welcome both. One should not be esteemed above the other. No matter what one’s status in life may be, God has given us the community of faith as a place to nurture love and wholeness centered on our shared relationship with Christ.  

Watch Making the Most of Any Relationship